http://disc.osiris-web.com/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=99.238.41.80Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]2026-06-10T10:51:07ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.45.3http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Sir_William_Blunt-Instrument&diff=6059Sir William Blunt-Instrument2011-04-26T04:05:35Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Annotation */</p>
<hr />
<div>Cosh and blackjack maker Sir William Blunt-Instrument was found dead in an alley, almost certainly killed by a cosh. It was this incident that started the rumour that makers of weaponry invariably die due to them. This is palpably not true, however: according to the footnote in {{FOC}}, "Colonel Shrapnel wasn't blown up, M. Guillotin died with his head on, Colonel Gatling wasn't shot. If it hadn't been for Sir William Blunt-Instrument, the rumour would never have got started."<br />
<br />
==Annotation==<br />
<br />
On [[Roundworld]], it was {{wp|Shrapnel|Major-General Henry Shrapnel}} (1761–1842), an English artillery officer, whose experiments—initially conducted in his own time, and at his own expense—culminated in the design and development of a new type of artillery shell. Likewise, it was {{wp|Gatling|Dr. Richard Jordan Gatling}} who created the Gatling gun in 1861 and patented it in 1862, and {{wp|Guillotin|Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin}} (May 28, 1738 – March 26, 1814) proposed on October 10, 1789 the use of a mechanical device to carry out death penalties in France. While he did not invent the guillotine, his name became an eponym for it. He didn't even believe in the death penalty! He thought a more humane and less painful method of execution would be the first step toward its total abolition. However, just as on the Disc, contrary to popular belief, Guillotin did not die on the machine given his name, but rather from a carbuncle on the left shoulder<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld characters|Blunt-Instrument, Sir William]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Terpsic_Mims&diff=6529Terpsic Mims2009-08-26T06:42:54Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>Not so much a committed fisherman in [[Krull]] as a committed home-and-wife avoider, who was distracted by [[Death]] turning up to try out his new fishing fly. In regards to the latter's less-than-earthly disposition, this was a prehistoric mosquito that became extinct when its primary source of food, the woolly mammoth, perished thousands of years ago. <br />
<br />
In the tsunami of piscine life struggling to get out of the way of the ensuing slaughter, Mims lost his footing and, in every sense of the word, underwent a near-Death experience. <br />
<br />
While Mims was vaguely grateful that the tall dark mysterious stranger had saved him from drowning (although the downside was that he then had to return to Gwladys, who then moaned about his trailing dirty water into the house, and look at the state of your clothes, Terpsic Mims), the one thing that will haunt him till his dying day is that the tall dark mysterious stranger explained his actions by saying FOR LATER. What ''could'' he have meant by that...<br />
<br />
[[category:Discworld characters|Mims, Terpsic]]<br />
[[category:Human characters]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Cats&diff=1188Cats2009-08-26T06:32:18Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>One of the most successful animal species to colonise the Discworld. ''Felis Domesticus'', by devious routes all of its own, has managed a symbiotic relationship with ''Homo Sapiens'' in every part of the galaxy that Man has made his own. <br />
<br />
The contract between Cat and Man is clear. The human signatory is expected to provide, on demand, ample qualities of:<br />
<br />
i) Food;<br />
<br />
ii) Warmth;<br />
<br />
iii) Dry comfortable sleeping places;<br />
<br />
iv) toilet facilities of the feline party's choosing;<br />
<br />
v) Entertainment; <br />
<br />
vi) maternity facilities for occasional kittens.<br />
<br />
In return for this, the feline party consents to occasionally turning up (as and when it feels like it), and kindly condescends to make a show of what the human party misinterprets as affection every so often. The feline party will also undertake to excrete or spray in inappropriate or inaccessible places and at inappropriate times, and to deliver gifts of fresh - well, fairly fresh - entrails as and when appropriate. The human party is not to complain about this as, well, you hang game for a few weeks because it tastes better, don't you?<br />
<br />
However, all this is still not nearly enough to make a [[Real Cat]] like [[Greebo]] or [[You]] or [[Maurice]] or [[Ratbag]]...<br />
<br />
On the Discworld, other humanoid species are baffled and bemused by the human susceptibility to cats. [[Trolls]] have learnt by now to stop trying to eat cats - even though they cannot be actually harmed by a bundle of spitting fury en route to those diamond teeth, it is still a disconcerting experience to find the nice handy meaty snack you have just picked up is screaming blue murder at you, wriggling and squirming to free itself and simultaneously making every attempt to put a permanent scratch across the thick silicon quartz lenses of your eyes. It just ain't worth it, even for those health-giving trace minerals, so cats are now avoided. This leads to amusing encounters such as that in {{M!!!}} between [[Detritus]] and [[Greebo]] in his were-human form, where in the shape of a cat he still retains enough human sentience to rasp "Get lost, copper!" at the troll, which causes a certain existential confusion in Detritus' slow-moving troll brain. <br />
<br />
If such creatures as troll cats exist in the fastness of the mountains, one almost certain prediction that can be made about their behaviour is that they will, out of love and respect, leave mouth-watering fragments of [[troll ducks]] and other silicon-based prey in the sleeping areas of favoured [[trolls]]. However, references in the chronicles of Discworld suggest that there may be no such life form, which would be a shame. <br />
<br />
Feline domination apparently has not only touched humans, but seems to have affected the more supernatural beings. [[Death]] himself is known for being overly fond of kittens, though this habit seems more transitory than most human cases.<br />
<br />
Terry Pratchett, with the assistance of cartoonist [[Gray Jolliffe]], develops these ideas further in {{TUC}}.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld Flora & Fauna]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Ankh-Morpork&diff=12226Ankh-Morpork2009-08-10T08:34:25Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Taxes */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Nation Data<br />
|title=Ankh-Morpork<br />
<br />
|picture=Am11.png|The coat of arms of Ankh-Morpork|200px|<br />
<br />
|established= [[-2564 UC]] (AM 1)<br />
<br />
|motto= ''Quanti canicula ille in fenestra'' (How Much is That Doggie in the Window) and ''Merus in pectum et in aquam'' (Pure in Heart and Water)<br />
<br />
|neighbours= The city-states of the [[Sto Plains]]<br />
<br />
|features= River [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], The [[Isle of Gods]], [[The Tump]]<br />
<br />
|population= approx. 1 million, Including 50000 dwarfs at the time {{T5E}}<br />
<br />
|size= 1 mile across (about 1.6km) (excluding suburbs outside the city walls)<br />
<br />
|government= Ruled by a [[Patrician]], currently [[Havelock Vetinari]], under the system of ''One Man, One Vote''. Before that, a [[monarchy]].<br />
<br />
|notablecitizens= [[Samuel Vimes|Commander Sam Vimes]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (heir to the throne), [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]), [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (salesman), [[Lord Selachii]] and Lord [[Venturi]], perpetually warring noblemen.<br />
<br />
|imports= [[Dwarfs]], [[Trolls]], raw materials, trouble<br />
<br />
|exports= Manufactured goods, politics, trouble<br />
<br />
|anthem= ''We Can Rule You Wholesale''<br />
<br />
|books= All books in the [[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]] and [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Books|Ankh-Morpork Books]], and {{M!M}}, {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The City==<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with about a million inhabitants. It is also one of the most common locations for the Discworld stories. Its [[Latatian]] name is Ankhius et Morporkia. In {{MP}}, we learn its nickname is "the Big [[Wahoonie]]" (an ugly, smelly fruit). The city lies on the river [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], which resembles solid ground more than it does water. Originally two cities separated by the river, [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] and [[Morpork]] today are governed as one (admittedly potentially schizophrenic) entity.<br />
<br />
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest [[dwarfs|dwarf]] population outside of [[&Uuml;berwald]] and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only [[trolls|troll]] crime syndicate on the Discworld, the [[Breccia]]. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution (which is frankly very strange &ndash; perhaps they have been mis-informed by a travel log written by a ''[[Twoflower|tourist]]'', or maybe it just depends on the perspective).<br />
<br />
The city of Ankh-Morpork is the first major setting to appear in the Discworld series, starring (as it were) in Part 1 of ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' and reappearing in virtually every Discworld book in a cameo role if not as a major setting. Known to [[Death]] as a city that never sleeps, Ankh-Morpork prides itself on being a city where you can buy anything you can think of; indeed, if they don't have it, with a modicum of notice they will gladly steal it in order to sell it to you. It has been said that Ankh-Morpork's primary exports are smog and modern power politics. Indeed, a foreign ruler once likened Ankh-Morpork to a vampire; taking everything and turning other states into lesser copies of itself.<br />
<br />
==The People==<br />
<br />
Ordinary Ankh-Morpork citizens are inordinately fond of street theatre, and have a very liberal definition of such. They will gather and watch anything occurring in the streets, while something that is actually interesting can bring the city to a complete halt. Some popular one-act productions include the [[Fools' Guild|Guild of Fools]] on [[Firefighters' Guild|fire]], somebody threatening to jump off the top of a building (even though everybody knows they're doing it just to get tobacco money), overturned beer carts, public hangings and so on. Where crowds gather, Mr. [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] ("cutting-me-own-throat" as in he's selling things so cheaply it's suicidal) is guaranteed to be present, selling sausages-in-a-bun and other unhygienic, possibly un-food, fast food. If there is a crowd and Dibbler is there and not selling anything, then there is something seriously wrong (''really'' seriously wrong).<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork citizens are very touchy about the reputations of things such as, the state of the [[Ankh (river)|River Ankh]], the democracy, or the caterpillars in their imported cabbages. Ankh-Morpork also houses many noble families. Historically, Ankh-Morpork has warred against other city-states on the [[Sto Plains]] and against [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]] across the [[Circle Sea]]. Ankh-Morpork nobles typically look down upon [[Lancre|The Kingdom of Lancre]] and go on tours to sneer at [[Überwald]]. Many countries owe Ankh-Morpork a lot of money. When things are peaceful, Ankh-Morpork is the boss; when somebody turns directly against Ankh-Morpork however, Ankh-Morpork finds very few allies (though it does find bill-collectors rather more useful than allies in any event).<br />
<br />
Nobles of other countries often send their children to attend the [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins']] school (assuming they look good in black clothing; otherwise The [[Fools' Guild]] - which has swallowed up and now incorporates the formerly independent guilds of Quirm and [[Überwald]] - and [[Seamstresses' Guild]] are always welcoming new members). In short, although just about everybody who lives in Ankh-Morpork has some complaints about living there, for the most part they continue. To live. There. And more people are coming every year.<br />
<br />
Many citizens are members of the various [[Guilds]] however some others have joined various street gangs such as the [[Breccia]], The Shamlegger Rude Boys and the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads.<br />
<br />
==Government==<br />
<br />
The city is formally ruled by the [[Patrician]], the absolute tyrant elected by a one man, one vote system of democracy (he is the man and he has the vote), although the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] and temples make many of the everyday decisions. Affairs of state and the small volume of local government are carried out from the [[Patrician's Palace]] by a select staff of [[Clerks]] under the close supervision of Patrician [[Havelock Vetinari]]. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. <br />
<br />
There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
The business of Ankh-Morpork is business. As a city-state, it has no natural resources. Even its river is too thick to navigate effectively and too soft to walk (though a brisk pace might do the trick). However the city owns things, makes things, buys and sells things. It imports the raw materials and the people who turn them into the tools, weapons, shoes, books and trinkets for most of the Disc from Llamedos to Genua. A steady stream of immigrants from all around the world bring skills, strength and new technologies and send home Ankh-Morpork dollars which buy Ankh-Morpork exports in turn.<br />
<br />
===Taxes===<br />
<br />
Lord Vetinari often points out that tax revenues in Ankh-Morpork are insubstantial and unreliable at best. This is normal for politicians (incumbents, that is) who are always constrained by their budgets in good times and bad. However, it does appear that few in Ankh-Morpork actually pay taxes, so how does the Palace support the Watch, the Clerks or indeed its own tax-collectors?<br />
<br />
To fully understand the state of the Ankh-Morpork city finances, the following must be considered, based on information gleaned from various sources:<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{RM}}'''<br />
<br />
*In ''Reaper Man'', through wrangling between the [[Unseen University]] and the city government, it is established that taxes are charged based on a simple fee of AM$200 per head, payable in quarterly instalments. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MAA}} and {{FOC}}'''<br />
<br />
*Near the end of ''Men at Arms'', we found Captain Carrot interviewing a group of [[dwarfs|dwarf]] bakers who have failed to pay their taxes. <br />
*We also learn in ''Feet of Clay'' that Mr. [[Setha Ironcrust]], who at the time owned a single bakery, has avoided his taxes.<br />
*Neither does Mr. Maxilotte, owner of a butchery in the [[Shambles]], pay his taxes. <br />
<br />
Of course in these cases, they could simply have forgotten to - what with them being honest merchants who work hard all year round, it's easy to overlook financial affairs. If so, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], who has read the roll of taxpayers and knows who pays their taxes and who doesn't, will be happy to oblige by bringing around the proper documentation and visiting ''every'' single week after work to see if the papers have been filled out...<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{J}}'''<br />
<br />
*During an important meeting on the issue of the island of [[Leshp]] in the Patrician's Palace, [[Samuel Vimes]], Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, is the only one in a room full of important (and extremely wealthy) Guild leaders and nobles to declare to have paid his taxes in full.<br />
*In the same scene, the [[Assassins' Guild]] is shown to have a collective income of about AM$13,207,408 the year before. Despite this, they have paid less than 0.0004% of it in taxes through an arrangement with the [[Guild of Accountants]]. <br />
*Speaking of which, the Guild of Accountants earned AM$7,999,011 the year before, but paid nothing in taxes. In fact, they have applied for a rebate of AM$200,000 instead, which means insofar taxation is concerned, they have a ''net gain''.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MM}}'''<br />
<br />
*We finally return to the issue of taxation in ''Making Money'', where [[Topsy Lavish]], former Manager of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] gives the statistic that the majority of Ankh-Morpork citizens live on AM$150 or less. <br />
*Based on the tax rate of AM$200 as established in {{RM}}, this means that the average citizen is required to pay a tax that totals up to far more than they can actually conceivably and legally earn in the same period. <br />
*At the end of {{MM}}, we learn about the current post-holder, [[Creaser]], whose methods of collection were mainly physical and personalized. <br />
<br />
<br />
So it is clear that the current system of taxation is in desperate need of revision. Besides typical Ankh-Morporkian sensibilities, ordinary citizens are incapable of paying their taxes altogether simply because the amount they have to pay exceeds their income. The wealthy on the other hand, pay negligible amounts or avoid paying entirely thanks to the Guild of Accountants. From the comments of Lord Vetinari in {{MM}} we can also assume that the inefficiency of tax collection is also due to the ineptitude of the gatherers themselves.<br />
<br />
However there are other revenues available to government besides income, sales and property taxes. Duties and excise, user fees and tolls, and license fees can be levied. These tend to be more politically acceptable, as they are often charged to someone else. Duties, tolls and docking fees applied to foreigners are especially popular, since they're not immediately associated with increased prices for imported goods. As the largest city and trading port on the Disc, Ankh-Morpork has considerable capacity for this sort of "hidden" taxation.<br />
<br />
Another revenue stream would be fines and the appropriation of the proceeds of criminal operations. Even unconvicted criminals are unlikely to flee the Patrician's rather rough justice, leaving behind some unaccounted valuables. [[William de Worde]] managed to scoop a rather large bag of rubies, but much of this will fall into the hands of the City Watch, and so the City. In addition, the City may also lay claim to discovery of certain resources that may prove useful, such as a large chest of gold unearthed by [[Moist von Lipwig]], an army of [[golems]], or an array of [[Technomantic Devices|Devices]]. <br />
<br />
In addition, as Vetinari himself belongs to an extremely powerful and wealthy noble family, he may actually support the city treasury out of his own pocket, and so very much unlike his predecessors who saw Patricianship as a cash cow for their drinking buddies and themselves. The latter point is more or less borne out by the excessive rate of taxation imposed on the average citizen, and the crude methods of [[Creaser]], the current [[Taxmaster]] who has been part of the several preceding (incompetent and corrupt) regimes.<br />
<br />
Apparently such devices have sustained the system so far, and allowed it to tolerate the inept management of the revenue office, but for grand schemes [[Undertaking|underground]] a lot of money must be [[Book:Raising Taxes|raised]]. And so new blood is needed. Perhaps it will be [[Moist von Lipwig]], the same man who revived the [[Post Office]], and reformed the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Royal Bank]] and [[Ankh-Morpork Mint|Mint]] of Ankh-Morpork? Regardless, the next Taxmaster will have his hands full dealing with the Ankh-Morpork citizenry, who are renowned for their stinginess in matters regarding the flow of money out of their own pockets. It is likely though, that whoever it will be, he would have the whole-hearted support of Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], as well as the remainder of the City Watch in any matters regarding tax collection.<br />
<br />
==Notable places==<br />
<br />
*The [[Tower of Art]]<br />
*[[The Mended Drum]]<br />
*The [[Patrician's Palace]]<br />
*[[Pseudopolis Yard]]<br />
*The [[Temple of Small Gods]]<br />
*The [[Unseen University]]<br />
*[[The Shades]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld geography]]<br />
[[Category:Locations]]<br />
[[de:Ankh-Morpork]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Ankh-Morpork&diff=12225Ankh-Morpork2009-08-10T08:34:11Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Taxes */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Nation Data<br />
|title=Ankh-Morpork<br />
<br />
|picture=Am11.png|The coat of arms of Ankh-Morpork|200px|<br />
<br />
|established= [[-2564 UC]] (AM 1)<br />
<br />
|motto= ''Quanti canicula ille in fenestra'' (How Much is That Doggie in the Window) and ''Merus in pectum et in aquam'' (Pure in Heart and Water)<br />
<br />
|neighbours= The city-states of the [[Sto Plains]]<br />
<br />
|features= River [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], The [[Isle of Gods]], [[The Tump]]<br />
<br />
|population= approx. 1 million, Including 50000 dwarfs at the time {{T5E}}<br />
<br />
|size= 1 mile across (about 1.6km) (excluding suburbs outside the city walls)<br />
<br />
|government= Ruled by a [[Patrician]], currently [[Havelock Vetinari]], under the system of ''One Man, One Vote''. Before that, a [[monarchy]].<br />
<br />
|notablecitizens= [[Samuel Vimes|Commander Sam Vimes]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (heir to the throne), [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]), [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (salesman), [[Lord Selachii]] and Lord [[Venturi]], perpetually warring noblemen.<br />
<br />
|imports= [[Dwarfs]], [[Trolls]], raw materials, trouble<br />
<br />
|exports= Manufactured goods, politics, trouble<br />
<br />
|anthem= ''We Can Rule You Wholesale''<br />
<br />
|books= All books in the [[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]] and [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Books|Ankh-Morpork Books]], and {{M!M}}, {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The City==<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with about a million inhabitants. It is also one of the most common locations for the Discworld stories. Its [[Latatian]] name is Ankhius et Morporkia. In {{MP}}, we learn its nickname is "the Big [[Wahoonie]]" (an ugly, smelly fruit). The city lies on the river [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], which resembles solid ground more than it does water. Originally two cities separated by the river, [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] and [[Morpork]] today are governed as one (admittedly potentially schizophrenic) entity.<br />
<br />
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest [[dwarfs|dwarf]] population outside of [[&Uuml;berwald]] and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only [[trolls|troll]] crime syndicate on the Discworld, the [[Breccia]]. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution (which is frankly very strange &ndash; perhaps they have been mis-informed by a travel log written by a ''[[Twoflower|tourist]]'', or maybe it just depends on the perspective).<br />
<br />
The city of Ankh-Morpork is the first major setting to appear in the Discworld series, starring (as it were) in Part 1 of ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' and reappearing in virtually every Discworld book in a cameo role if not as a major setting. Known to [[Death]] as a city that never sleeps, Ankh-Morpork prides itself on being a city where you can buy anything you can think of; indeed, if they don't have it, with a modicum of notice they will gladly steal it in order to sell it to you. It has been said that Ankh-Morpork's primary exports are smog and modern power politics. Indeed, a foreign ruler once likened Ankh-Morpork to a vampire; taking everything and turning other states into lesser copies of itself.<br />
<br />
==The People==<br />
<br />
Ordinary Ankh-Morpork citizens are inordinately fond of street theatre, and have a very liberal definition of such. They will gather and watch anything occurring in the streets, while something that is actually interesting can bring the city to a complete halt. Some popular one-act productions include the [[Fools' Guild|Guild of Fools]] on [[Firefighters' Guild|fire]], somebody threatening to jump off the top of a building (even though everybody knows they're doing it just to get tobacco money), overturned beer carts, public hangings and so on. Where crowds gather, Mr. [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] ("cutting-me-own-throat" as in he's selling things so cheaply it's suicidal) is guaranteed to be present, selling sausages-in-a-bun and other unhygienic, possibly un-food, fast food. If there is a crowd and Dibbler is there and not selling anything, then there is something seriously wrong (''really'' seriously wrong).<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork citizens are very touchy about the reputations of things such as, the state of the [[Ankh (river)|River Ankh]], the democracy, or the caterpillars in their imported cabbages. Ankh-Morpork also houses many noble families. Historically, Ankh-Morpork has warred against other city-states on the [[Sto Plains]] and against [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]] across the [[Circle Sea]]. Ankh-Morpork nobles typically look down upon [[Lancre|The Kingdom of Lancre]] and go on tours to sneer at [[Überwald]]. Many countries owe Ankh-Morpork a lot of money. When things are peaceful, Ankh-Morpork is the boss; when somebody turns directly against Ankh-Morpork however, Ankh-Morpork finds very few allies (though it does find bill-collectors rather more useful than allies in any event).<br />
<br />
Nobles of other countries often send their children to attend the [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins']] school (assuming they look good in black clothing; otherwise The [[Fools' Guild]] - which has swallowed up and now incorporates the formerly independent guilds of Quirm and [[Überwald]] - and [[Seamstresses' Guild]] are always welcoming new members). In short, although just about everybody who lives in Ankh-Morpork has some complaints about living there, for the most part they continue. To live. There. And more people are coming every year.<br />
<br />
Many citizens are members of the various [[Guilds]] however some others have joined various street gangs such as the [[Breccia]], The Shamlegger Rude Boys and the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads.<br />
<br />
==Government==<br />
<br />
The city is formally ruled by the [[Patrician]], the absolute tyrant elected by a one man, one vote system of democracy (he is the man and he has the vote), although the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] and temples make many of the everyday decisions. Affairs of state and the small volume of local government are carried out from the [[Patrician's Palace]] by a select staff of [[Clerks]] under the close supervision of Patrician [[Havelock Vetinari]]. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. <br />
<br />
There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
The business of Ankh-Morpork is business. As a city-state, it has no natural resources. Even its river is too thick to navigate effectively and too soft to walk (though a brisk pace might do the trick). However the city owns things, makes things, buys and sells things. It imports the raw materials and the people who turn them into the tools, weapons, shoes, books and trinkets for most of the Disc from Llamedos to Genua. A steady stream of immigrants from all around the world bring skills, strength and new technologies and send home Ankh-Morpork dollars which buy Ankh-Morpork exports in turn.<br />
<br />
===Taxes===<br />
<br />
Lord Vetinari often points out that tax revenues in Ankh-Morpork are insubstantial and unreliable at best. This is normal for politicians (incumbents, that is) who are always constrained by their budgets in good times and bad. However, it does appear that few in Ankh-Morpork actually pay taxes, so how does the Palace support the Watch, the Clerks or indeed its own tax-collectors?<br />
<br />
To fully understand the state of the Ankh-Morpork city finances, the following must be considered, based on information gleaned from various sources:<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{RM}}'''<br />
<br />
*In ''Reaper Man'', through wrangling between the [[Unseen University]] and the city government, it is established that taxes are charged based on a simple fee of AM$200 per head, payable in quarterly instalments. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MAA}} and {{FOC}}'''<br />
<br />
*Near the end of ''Men at Arms'', we found Captain Carrot interviewing a group of [[dwarfs|dwarf]] bakers who have failed to pay their taxes. <br />
*We also learn in ''Feet of Clay'' that Mr. [[Setha Ironcrust]], who at the time owned a single bakery, has avoided his taxes.<br />
*Neither does Mr. Maxilotte, owner of a butchery in the [[Shambles]], pay his taxes. <br />
<br />
Of course in these cases, they could simply have forgotten to - what with them being honest merchants who work hard all year round, it's easy to overlook financial affairs. If so, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], who has read the roll of taxpayers and knows who pays their taxes and who doesn't, will be happy to oblige by bringing around the proper documentation and visiting ''every'' single week after work to see if the papers have been filled out...<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{J}}'''<br />
<br />
*During an important meeting on the issue of the island of [[Leshp]] in the Patrician's Palace, [[Samuel Vimes]], Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, is the only one in a room full of important (and extremely wealthy) Guild leaders and nobles to declare to have paid his taxes in full.<br />
*In the same scene, the [[Assassins' Guild]] is shown to have a collective income of about AM$13,207,408 the year before. Despite this, they have paid less than 0.0004% of it in taxes through an arrangement with the [[Guild of Accountants]]. <br />
*Speaking of which, the Guild of Accountants earned AM$7,999,011 the year before, but paid nothing in taxes. In fact, they have applied for a rebate of AM$200,000 instead, which means insofar taxation is concerned, they have a ''net gain''.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MM}}'''<br />
<br />
*We finally return to the issue of taxation in ''Making Money'', where [[Topsy Lavish]], former Manager of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] gives the statistic that the majority of Ankh-Morpork citizens live on AM$150 or less. <br />
*Based on the tax rate of AM$200 as established in {{RM}}, this means that the average citizen is required to pay a tax that totals up to far more than they can actually conceivably and legally earn in the same period. <br />
*At the end of {{MM}}, we learn about the current post-holder, [[Creaser]], whose methods of collection were mainly physical and personalized. <br />
<br />
<br />
So it is clear that the current system of taxation is in desperate need of revision. Besides typical Ankh-Morporkian sensibilities, ordinary citizens are incapable of paying their taxes altogether simply because the amount they have to pay exceeds their income. The wealthy on the other hand, pay negligible amounts or avoid paying entirely thanks to the Guild of Accountants. From the accounts of Lord Vetinari in {{MM}} we can also assume that the inefficiency of tax collection is also due to the ineptitude of the gatherers themselves.<br />
<br />
However there are other revenues available to government besides income, sales and property taxes. Duties and excise, user fees and tolls, and license fees can be levied. These tend to be more politically acceptable, as they are often charged to someone else. Duties, tolls and docking fees applied to foreigners are especially popular, since they're not immediately associated with increased prices for imported goods. As the largest city and trading port on the Disc, Ankh-Morpork has considerable capacity for this sort of "hidden" taxation.<br />
<br />
Another revenue stream would be fines and the appropriation of the proceeds of criminal operations. Even unconvicted criminals are unlikely to flee the Patrician's rather rough justice, leaving behind some unaccounted valuables. [[William de Worde]] managed to scoop a rather large bag of rubies, but much of this will fall into the hands of the City Watch, and so the City. In addition, the City may also lay claim to discovery of certain resources that may prove useful, such as a large chest of gold unearthed by [[Moist von Lipwig]], an army of [[golems]], or an array of [[Technomantic Devices|Devices]]. <br />
<br />
In addition, as Vetinari himself belongs to an extremely powerful and wealthy noble family, he may actually support the city treasury out of his own pocket, and so very much unlike his predecessors who saw Patricianship as a cash cow for their drinking buddies and themselves. The latter point is more or less borne out by the excessive rate of taxation imposed on the average citizen, and the crude methods of [[Creaser]], the current [[Taxmaster]] who has been part of the several preceding (incompetent and corrupt) regimes.<br />
<br />
Apparently such devices have sustained the system so far, and allowed it to tolerate the inept management of the revenue office, but for grand schemes [[Undertaking|underground]] a lot of money must be [[Book:Raising Taxes|raised]]. And so new blood is needed. Perhaps it will be [[Moist von Lipwig]], the same man who revived the [[Post Office]], and reformed the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Royal Bank]] and [[Ankh-Morpork Mint|Mint]] of Ankh-Morpork? Regardless, the next Taxmaster will have his hands full dealing with the Ankh-Morpork citizenry, who are renowned for their stinginess in matters regarding the flow of money out of their own pockets. It is likely though, that whoever it will be, he would have the whole-hearted support of Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], as well as the remainder of the City Watch in any matters regarding tax collection.<br />
<br />
==Notable places==<br />
<br />
*The [[Tower of Art]]<br />
*[[The Mended Drum]]<br />
*The [[Patrician's Palace]]<br />
*[[Pseudopolis Yard]]<br />
*The [[Temple of Small Gods]]<br />
*The [[Unseen University]]<br />
*[[The Shades]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld geography]]<br />
[[Category:Locations]]<br />
[[de:Ankh-Morpork]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Ankh-Morpork&diff=12224Ankh-Morpork2009-08-10T08:22:57Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Taxes */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Nation Data<br />
|title=Ankh-Morpork<br />
<br />
|picture=Am11.png|The coat of arms of Ankh-Morpork|200px|<br />
<br />
|established= [[-2564 UC]] (AM 1)<br />
<br />
|motto= ''Quanti canicula ille in fenestra'' (How Much is That Doggie in the Window) and ''Merus in pectum et in aquam'' (Pure in Heart and Water)<br />
<br />
|neighbours= The city-states of the [[Sto Plains]]<br />
<br />
|features= River [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], The [[Isle of Gods]], [[The Tump]]<br />
<br />
|population= approx. 1 million, Including 50000 dwarfs at the time {{T5E}}<br />
<br />
|size= 1 mile across (about 1.6km) (excluding suburbs outside the city walls)<br />
<br />
|government= Ruled by a [[Patrician]], currently [[Havelock Vetinari]], under the system of ''One Man, One Vote''. Before that, a [[monarchy]].<br />
<br />
|notablecitizens= [[Samuel Vimes|Commander Sam Vimes]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (heir to the throne), [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]), [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (salesman), [[Lord Selachii]] and Lord [[Venturi]], perpetually warring noblemen.<br />
<br />
|imports= [[Dwarfs]], [[Trolls]], raw materials, trouble<br />
<br />
|exports= Manufactured goods, politics, trouble<br />
<br />
|anthem= ''We Can Rule You Wholesale''<br />
<br />
|books= All books in the [[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]] and [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Books|Ankh-Morpork Books]], and {{M!M}}, {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The City==<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with about a million inhabitants. It is also one of the most common locations for the Discworld stories. Its [[Latatian]] name is Ankhius et Morporkia. In {{MP}}, we learn its nickname is "the Big [[Wahoonie]]" (an ugly, smelly fruit). The city lies on the river [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], which resembles solid ground more than it does water. Originally two cities separated by the river, [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] and [[Morpork]] today are governed as one (admittedly potentially schizophrenic) entity.<br />
<br />
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest [[dwarfs|dwarf]] population outside of [[&Uuml;berwald]] and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only [[trolls|troll]] crime syndicate on the Discworld, the [[Breccia]]. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution (which is frankly very strange &ndash; perhaps they have been mis-informed by a travel log written by a ''[[Twoflower|tourist]]'', or maybe it just depends on the perspective).<br />
<br />
The city of Ankh-Morpork is the first major setting to appear in the Discworld series, starring (as it were) in Part 1 of ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' and reappearing in virtually every Discworld book in a cameo role if not as a major setting. Known to [[Death]] as a city that never sleeps, Ankh-Morpork prides itself on being a city where you can buy anything you can think of; indeed, if they don't have it, with a modicum of notice they will gladly steal it in order to sell it to you. It has been said that Ankh-Morpork's primary exports are smog and modern power politics. Indeed, a foreign ruler once likened Ankh-Morpork to a vampire; taking everything and turning other states into lesser copies of itself.<br />
<br />
==The People==<br />
<br />
Ordinary Ankh-Morpork citizens are inordinately fond of street theatre, and have a very liberal definition of such. They will gather and watch anything occurring in the streets, while something that is actually interesting can bring the city to a complete halt. Some popular one-act productions include the [[Fools' Guild|Guild of Fools]] on [[Firefighters' Guild|fire]], somebody threatening to jump off the top of a building (even though everybody knows they're doing it just to get tobacco money), overturned beer carts, public hangings and so on. Where crowds gather, Mr. [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] ("cutting-me-own-throat" as in he's selling things so cheaply it's suicidal) is guaranteed to be present, selling sausages-in-a-bun and other unhygienic, possibly un-food, fast food. If there is a crowd and Dibbler is there and not selling anything, then there is something seriously wrong (''really'' seriously wrong).<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork citizens are very touchy about the reputations of things such as, the state of the [[Ankh (river)|River Ankh]], the democracy, or the caterpillars in their imported cabbages. Ankh-Morpork also houses many noble families. Historically, Ankh-Morpork has warred against other city-states on the [[Sto Plains]] and against [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]] across the [[Circle Sea]]. Ankh-Morpork nobles typically look down upon [[Lancre|The Kingdom of Lancre]] and go on tours to sneer at [[Überwald]]. Many countries owe Ankh-Morpork a lot of money. When things are peaceful, Ankh-Morpork is the boss; when somebody turns directly against Ankh-Morpork however, Ankh-Morpork finds very few allies (though it does find bill-collectors rather more useful than allies in any event).<br />
<br />
Nobles of other countries often send their children to attend the [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins']] school (assuming they look good in black clothing; otherwise The [[Fools' Guild]] - which has swallowed up and now incorporates the formerly independent guilds of Quirm and [[Überwald]] - and [[Seamstresses' Guild]] are always welcoming new members). In short, although just about everybody who lives in Ankh-Morpork has some complaints about living there, for the most part they continue. To live. There. And more people are coming every year.<br />
<br />
Many citizens are members of the various [[Guilds]] however some others have joined various street gangs such as the [[Breccia]], The Shamlegger Rude Boys and the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads.<br />
<br />
==Government==<br />
<br />
The city is formally ruled by the [[Patrician]], the absolute tyrant elected by a one man, one vote system of democracy (he is the man and he has the vote), although the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] and temples make many of the everyday decisions. Affairs of state and the small volume of local government are carried out from the [[Patrician's Palace]] by a select staff of [[Clerks]] under the close supervision of Patrician [[Havelock Vetinari]]. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. <br />
<br />
There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
The business of Ankh-Morpork is business. As a city-state, it has no natural resources. Even its river is too thick to navigate effectively and too soft to walk (though a brisk pace might do the trick). However the city owns things, makes things, buys and sells things. It imports the raw materials and the people who turn them into the tools, weapons, shoes, books and trinkets for most of the Disc from Llamedos to Genua. A steady stream of immigrants from all around the world bring skills, strength and new technologies and send home Ankh-Morpork dollars which buy Ankh-Morpork exports in turn.<br />
<br />
===Taxes===<br />
<br />
Lord Vetinari often points out that tax revenues in Ankh-Morpork are insubstantial and unreliable at best. This is normal for politicians (incumbents, that is) who are always constrained by their budgets in good times and bad. However, it does appear that few in Ankh-Morpork actually pay taxes, so how does the Palace support the Watch, the Clerks or indeed its own tax-collectors?<br />
<br />
To fully understand the state of the Ankh-Morpork city finances, the following must be considered, based on information gleaned from various sources:<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{RM}}'''<br />
<br />
*In ''Reaper Man'', through wrangling between the [[Unseen University]] and the city government, it is established that taxes are charged based on a simple fee of AM$200 per head, payable in quarterly instalments. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MAA}} and {{FOC}}'''<br />
<br />
*Near the end of ''Men at Arms'', we found Captain Carrot interviewing a group of [[dwarfs|dwarf]] bakers who have failed to pay their taxes. <br />
*We also learn in ''Feet of Clay'' that Mr. [[Setha Ironcrust]], who at the time owned a single bakery, has avoided his taxes.<br />
*Neither does Mr. Maxilotte, owner of a butchery in the [[Shambles]], pay his taxes. <br />
<br />
Of course in these cases, they could simply have forgotten to - what with them being honest merchants who work hard all year round, it's easy to overlook financial affairs. If so, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], who has read the roll of taxpayers and knows who pays their taxes and who doesn't, will be happy to oblige by bringing around the proper documentation and visiting ''every'' single week after work to see if the papers have been filled out...<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{J}}'''<br />
<br />
*During an important meeting on the issue of the island of [[Leshp]] in the Patrician's Palace, [[Samuel Vimes]], Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, is the only one in a room full of important (and extremely wealthy) Guild leaders and nobles to declare to have paid his taxes in full.<br />
*In the same scene, the [[Assassins' Guild]] is shown to have a collective income of about AM$13,207,408 the year before. Despite this, they have paid less than 0.0004% of it in taxes through an arrangement with the [[Guild of Accountants]]. <br />
*Speaking of which, the Guild of Accountants earned AM$7,999,011 the year before, but paid nothing in taxes. In fact, they have applied for a rebate of AM$200,000 instead, which means insofar taxation is concerned, they have a ''net gain''.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MM}}'''<br />
<br />
*We finally return to the issue of taxation in ''Making Money'', where [[Topsy Lavish]], former Manager of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] gives the statistic that the majority of Ankh-Morpork citizens live on AM$150 or less. <br />
*Based on the tax rate of AM$200 as established in {{RM}}, this means that the average citizen is required to pay a tax that totals up to far more than they can actually conceivably and legally earn in the same period. <br />
*At the end of {{MM}}, we learn about the current post-holder, [[Creaser]], whose methods of collection were mainly physical (namely "shaking someone by the ankles over a bucket and taking whatever came out"). <br />
<br />
<br />
So it is clear that the current system of taxation is completely bunk. Either because of the inability to pay the taxes or typical Ankh-Morpork sensibilities (if you ignore it, it will go away) ordinary citizens fail to pay their taxes. And through that same negligence, as well as manipulation by the Guild of Accountants, the wealthiest manage to pay a negligible amount or even avoid paying entirely. <br />
<br />
However there are other revenues available to government besides income, sales and property taxes. Duties and excise, user fees and tolls, and license fees can be levied. These tend to be more politically acceptable, as they are often charged to someone else. Duties, tolls and docking fees applied to foreigners are especially popular, since they're not immediately associated with increased prices for imported goods. As the largest city and trading port on the Disc, Ankh-Morpork has considerable capacity for this sort of "hidden" taxation.<br />
<br />
Another revenue stream would be fines and the appropriation of the proceeds of criminal operations. Even unconvicted criminals are unlikely to flee the Patrician's rather rough justice, leaving behind some unaccounted valuables. [[William de Worde]] managed to scoop a rather large bag of rubies, but much of this will fall into the hands of the City Watch, and so the City. In addition, the City may also lay claim to discovery of certain resources that may prove useful, such as a large chest of gold unearthed by [[Moist von Lipwig]], an army of [[golems]], or an array of [[Technomantic Devices|Devices]]. <br />
<br />
In addition, as Vetinari himself belongs to an extremely powerful and wealthy noble family, he may actually support the city treasury out of his own pocket, and so very much unlike his predecessors who saw Patricianship as a cash cow for their drinking buddies and themselves. The latter point is more or less borne out by the excessive rate of taxation imposed on the average citizen, and the crude methods of [[Creaser]], the current [[Taxmaster]] who has been part of the several preceding (incompetent and corrupt) regimes.<br />
<br />
Apparently such devices have sustained the system so far, and allowed it to tolerate the inept management of the revenue office, but for grand schemes [[Undertaking|underground]] a lot of money must be [[Book:Raising Taxes|raised]]. And so new blood is needed. Perhaps it will be [[Moist von Lipwig]], the same man who revived the [[Post Office]], and reformed the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Royal Bank]] and [[Ankh-Morpork Mint|Mint]] of Ankh-Morpork? Regardless, the next Taxmaster will have his hands full dealing with the Ankh-Morpork citizenry, who are renowned for their stinginess in matters regarding the flow of money out of their own pockets. It is likely though, that whoever it will be, he would have the whole-hearted support of Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], as well as the remainder of the City Watch in any matters regarding tax collection.<br />
<br />
==Notable places==<br />
<br />
*The [[Tower of Art]]<br />
*[[The Mended Drum]]<br />
*The [[Patrician's Palace]]<br />
*[[Pseudopolis Yard]]<br />
*The [[Temple of Small Gods]]<br />
*The [[Unseen University]]<br />
*[[The Shades]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld geography]]<br />
[[Category:Locations]]<br />
[[de:Ankh-Morpork]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Ankh-Morpork&diff=12223Ankh-Morpork2009-08-10T08:22:43Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Taxes */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Nation Data<br />
|title=Ankh-Morpork<br />
<br />
|picture=Am11.png|The coat of arms of Ankh-Morpork|200px|<br />
<br />
|established= [[-2564 UC]] (AM 1)<br />
<br />
|motto= ''Quanti canicula ille in fenestra'' (How Much is That Doggie in the Window) and ''Merus in pectum et in aquam'' (Pure in Heart and Water)<br />
<br />
|neighbours= The city-states of the [[Sto Plains]]<br />
<br />
|features= River [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], The [[Isle of Gods]], [[The Tump]]<br />
<br />
|population= approx. 1 million, Including 50000 dwarfs at the time {{T5E}}<br />
<br />
|size= 1 mile across (about 1.6km) (excluding suburbs outside the city walls)<br />
<br />
|government= Ruled by a [[Patrician]], currently [[Havelock Vetinari]], under the system of ''One Man, One Vote''. Before that, a [[monarchy]].<br />
<br />
|notablecitizens= [[Samuel Vimes|Commander Sam Vimes]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (heir to the throne), [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]), [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (salesman), [[Lord Selachii]] and Lord [[Venturi]], perpetually warring noblemen.<br />
<br />
|imports= [[Dwarfs]], [[Trolls]], raw materials, trouble<br />
<br />
|exports= Manufactured goods, politics, trouble<br />
<br />
|anthem= ''We Can Rule You Wholesale''<br />
<br />
|books= All books in the [[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]] and [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Books|Ankh-Morpork Books]], and {{M!M}}, {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The City==<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with about a million inhabitants. It is also one of the most common locations for the Discworld stories. Its [[Latatian]] name is Ankhius et Morporkia. In {{MP}}, we learn its nickname is "the Big [[Wahoonie]]" (an ugly, smelly fruit). The city lies on the river [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], which resembles solid ground more than it does water. Originally two cities separated by the river, [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] and [[Morpork]] today are governed as one (admittedly potentially schizophrenic) entity.<br />
<br />
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest [[dwarfs|dwarf]] population outside of [[&Uuml;berwald]] and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only [[trolls|troll]] crime syndicate on the Discworld, the [[Breccia]]. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution (which is frankly very strange &ndash; perhaps they have been mis-informed by a travel log written by a ''[[Twoflower|tourist]]'', or maybe it just depends on the perspective).<br />
<br />
The city of Ankh-Morpork is the first major setting to appear in the Discworld series, starring (as it were) in Part 1 of ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' and reappearing in virtually every Discworld book in a cameo role if not as a major setting. Known to [[Death]] as a city that never sleeps, Ankh-Morpork prides itself on being a city where you can buy anything you can think of; indeed, if they don't have it, with a modicum of notice they will gladly steal it in order to sell it to you. It has been said that Ankh-Morpork's primary exports are smog and modern power politics. Indeed, a foreign ruler once likened Ankh-Morpork to a vampire; taking everything and turning other states into lesser copies of itself.<br />
<br />
==The People==<br />
<br />
Ordinary Ankh-Morpork citizens are inordinately fond of street theatre, and have a very liberal definition of such. They will gather and watch anything occurring in the streets, while something that is actually interesting can bring the city to a complete halt. Some popular one-act productions include the [[Fools' Guild|Guild of Fools]] on [[Firefighters' Guild|fire]], somebody threatening to jump off the top of a building (even though everybody knows they're doing it just to get tobacco money), overturned beer carts, public hangings and so on. Where crowds gather, Mr. [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] ("cutting-me-own-throat" as in he's selling things so cheaply it's suicidal) is guaranteed to be present, selling sausages-in-a-bun and other unhygienic, possibly un-food, fast food. If there is a crowd and Dibbler is there and not selling anything, then there is something seriously wrong (''really'' seriously wrong).<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork citizens are very touchy about the reputations of things such as, the state of the [[Ankh (river)|River Ankh]], the democracy, or the caterpillars in their imported cabbages. Ankh-Morpork also houses many noble families. Historically, Ankh-Morpork has warred against other city-states on the [[Sto Plains]] and against [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]] across the [[Circle Sea]]. Ankh-Morpork nobles typically look down upon [[Lancre|The Kingdom of Lancre]] and go on tours to sneer at [[Überwald]]. Many countries owe Ankh-Morpork a lot of money. When things are peaceful, Ankh-Morpork is the boss; when somebody turns directly against Ankh-Morpork however, Ankh-Morpork finds very few allies (though it does find bill-collectors rather more useful than allies in any event).<br />
<br />
Nobles of other countries often send their children to attend the [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins']] school (assuming they look good in black clothing; otherwise The [[Fools' Guild]] - which has swallowed up and now incorporates the formerly independent guilds of Quirm and [[Überwald]] - and [[Seamstresses' Guild]] are always welcoming new members). In short, although just about everybody who lives in Ankh-Morpork has some complaints about living there, for the most part they continue. To live. There. And more people are coming every year.<br />
<br />
Many citizens are members of the various [[Guilds]] however some others have joined various street gangs such as the [[Breccia]], The Shamlegger Rude Boys and the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads.<br />
<br />
==Government==<br />
<br />
The city is formally ruled by the [[Patrician]], the absolute tyrant elected by a one man, one vote system of democracy (he is the man and he has the vote), although the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] and temples make many of the everyday decisions. Affairs of state and the small volume of local government are carried out from the [[Patrician's Palace]] by a select staff of [[Clerks]] under the close supervision of Patrician [[Havelock Vetinari]]. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. <br />
<br />
There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
The business of Ankh-Morpork is business. As a city-state, it has no natural resources. Even its river is too thick to navigate effectively and too soft to walk (though a brisk pace might do the trick). However the city owns things, makes things, buys and sells things. It imports the raw materials and the people who turn them into the tools, weapons, shoes, books and trinkets for most of the Disc from Llamedos to Genua. A steady stream of immigrants from all around the world bring skills, strength and new technologies and send home Ankh-Morpork dollars which buy Ankh-Morpork exports in turn.<br />
<br />
===Taxes===<br />
<br />
Lord Vetinari often points out that tax revenues in Ankh-Morpork are insubstantial and unreliable at best. This is normal for politicians (incumbents, that is) who are always constrained by their budgets in good times and bad. However, it does appear that few in Ankh-Morpork actually pay taxes, so how does the Palace support the Watch, the Clerks or indeed its own tax-collectors?<br />
<br />
To fully understand the state of the Ankh-Morpork city finances, the following must be considered, based on information gleaned from various sources:<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{RM}}'''<br />
<br />
*In ''Reaper Man'', through wrangling between the [[Unseen University]] and the city government, it is established that taxes are charged based on a simple fee of AM$200 per head, payable in quarterly instalments. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MAA}} and {{FOC}}'''<br />
<br />
*Near the end of ''Men at Arms'', we found Captain Carrot interviewing a group of [[dwarfs|dwarf]] bakers who have failed to pay their taxes. <br />
*We also learn in ''Feet of Clay'' that Mr. [[Setha Ironcrust]], who at the time owned a single bakery, has avoided his taxes.<br />
*Neither does Mr. Maxilotte, owner of a butchery in the [[Shambles]], pay his taxes. <br />
<br />
Of course in these cases, they could simply have forgotten to - what with them being honest merchants who work hard all year round, it's easy to overlook financial affairs. If so, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], who has read the roll of taxpayers and knows who pays their taxes and who doesn't, will be happy to oblige by bringing around the proper documentation and visiting ''every'' single week after work to see if the papers have been filled out...<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{J}}'''<br />
<br />
*During an important meeting on the issue of the island of [[Leshp]] in the Patrician's Palace, [[Samuel Vimes]], Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, is the only one in a room full of important (and extremely wealthy) Guild leaders and nobles to declare to have paid his taxes in full.<br />
*In the same scene, the [[Assassins' Guild]] is shown to have a collective income of about AM$13,207,408 the year before. Despite this, they have paid less than 0.0004% of it in taxes through an arrangement with the [[Guild of Accountants]]. <br />
*Speaking of which, the Guild of Accountants earned AM$7,999,011 the year before, but paid nothing in taxes. In fact, they have applied for a rebate of AM$200,000 instead, which means insofar taxation is concerned, they have a ''net gain''.<br />
<br />
'''{{MM}}'''<br />
<br />
*We finally return to the issue of taxation in ''Making Money'', where [[Topsy Lavish]], former Manager of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] gives the statistic that the majority of Ankh-Morpork citizens live on AM$150 or less. <br />
*Based on the tax rate of AM$200 as established in {{RM}}, this means that the average citizen is required to pay a tax that totals up to far more than they can actually conceivably and legally earn in the same period. <br />
*At the end of {{MM}}, we learn about the current post-holder, [[Creaser]], whose methods of collection were mainly physical (namely "shaking someone by the ankles over a bucket and taking whatever came out"). <br />
<br />
<br />
So it is clear that the current system of taxation is completely bunk. Either because of the inability to pay the taxes or typical Ankh-Morpork sensibilities (if you ignore it, it will go away) ordinary citizens fail to pay their taxes. And through that same negligence, as well as manipulation by the Guild of Accountants, the wealthiest manage to pay a negligible amount or even avoid paying entirely. <br />
<br />
However there are other revenues available to government besides income, sales and property taxes. Duties and excise, user fees and tolls, and license fees can be levied. These tend to be more politically acceptable, as they are often charged to someone else. Duties, tolls and docking fees applied to foreigners are especially popular, since they're not immediately associated with increased prices for imported goods. As the largest city and trading port on the Disc, Ankh-Morpork has considerable capacity for this sort of "hidden" taxation.<br />
<br />
Another revenue stream would be fines and the appropriation of the proceeds of criminal operations. Even unconvicted criminals are unlikely to flee the Patrician's rather rough justice, leaving behind some unaccounted valuables. [[William de Worde]] managed to scoop a rather large bag of rubies, but much of this will fall into the hands of the City Watch, and so the City. In addition, the City may also lay claim to discovery of certain resources that may prove useful, such as a large chest of gold unearthed by [[Moist von Lipwig]], an army of [[golems]], or an array of [[Technomantic Devices|Devices]]. <br />
<br />
In addition, as Vetinari himself belongs to an extremely powerful and wealthy noble family, he may actually support the city treasury out of his own pocket, and so very much unlike his predecessors who saw Patricianship as a cash cow for their drinking buddies and themselves. The latter point is more or less borne out by the excessive rate of taxation imposed on the average citizen, and the crude methods of [[Creaser]], the current [[Taxmaster]] who has been part of the several preceding (incompetent and corrupt) regimes.<br />
<br />
Apparently such devices have sustained the system so far, and allowed it to tolerate the inept management of the revenue office, but for grand schemes [[Undertaking|underground]] a lot of money must be [[Book:Raising Taxes|raised]]. And so new blood is needed. Perhaps it will be [[Moist von Lipwig]], the same man who revived the [[Post Office]], and reformed the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Royal Bank]] and [[Ankh-Morpork Mint|Mint]] of Ankh-Morpork? Regardless, the next Taxmaster will have his hands full dealing with the Ankh-Morpork citizenry, who are renowned for their stinginess in matters regarding the flow of money out of their own pockets. It is likely though, that whoever it will be, he would have the whole-hearted support of Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], as well as the remainder of the City Watch in any matters regarding tax collection.<br />
<br />
==Notable places==<br />
<br />
*The [[Tower of Art]]<br />
*[[The Mended Drum]]<br />
*The [[Patrician's Palace]]<br />
*[[Pseudopolis Yard]]<br />
*The [[Temple of Small Gods]]<br />
*The [[Unseen University]]<br />
*[[The Shades]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld geography]]<br />
[[Category:Locations]]<br />
[[de:Ankh-Morpork]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Ankh-Morpork&diff=12222Ankh-Morpork2009-08-10T08:22:18Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Taxes */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Nation Data<br />
|title=Ankh-Morpork<br />
<br />
|picture=Am11.png|The coat of arms of Ankh-Morpork|200px|<br />
<br />
|established= [[-2564 UC]] (AM 1)<br />
<br />
|motto= ''Quanti canicula ille in fenestra'' (How Much is That Doggie in the Window) and ''Merus in pectum et in aquam'' (Pure in Heart and Water)<br />
<br />
|neighbours= The city-states of the [[Sto Plains]]<br />
<br />
|features= River [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], The [[Isle of Gods]], [[The Tump]]<br />
<br />
|population= approx. 1 million, Including 50000 dwarfs at the time {{T5E}}<br />
<br />
|size= 1 mile across (about 1.6km) (excluding suburbs outside the city walls)<br />
<br />
|government= Ruled by a [[Patrician]], currently [[Havelock Vetinari]], under the system of ''One Man, One Vote''. Before that, a [[monarchy]].<br />
<br />
|notablecitizens= [[Samuel Vimes|Commander Sam Vimes]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (heir to the throne), [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]), [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (salesman), [[Lord Selachii]] and Lord [[Venturi]], perpetually warring noblemen.<br />
<br />
|imports= [[Dwarfs]], [[Trolls]], raw materials, trouble<br />
<br />
|exports= Manufactured goods, politics, trouble<br />
<br />
|anthem= ''We Can Rule You Wholesale''<br />
<br />
|books= All books in the [[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]] and [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Books|Ankh-Morpork Books]], and {{M!M}}, {{SM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The City==<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Disc with about a million inhabitants. It is also one of the most common locations for the Discworld stories. Its [[Latatian]] name is Ankhius et Morporkia. In {{MP}}, we learn its nickname is "the Big [[Wahoonie]]" (an ugly, smelly fruit). The city lies on the river [[Ankh (river)|Ankh]], which resembles solid ground more than it does water. Originally two cities separated by the river, [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] and [[Morpork]] today are governed as one (admittedly potentially schizophrenic) entity.<br />
<br />
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest [[dwarfs|dwarf]] population outside of [[&Uuml;berwald]] and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only [[trolls|troll]] crime syndicate on the Discworld, the [[Breccia]]. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution (which is frankly very strange &ndash; perhaps they have been mis-informed by a travel log written by a ''[[Twoflower|tourist]]'', or maybe it just depends on the perspective).<br />
<br />
The city of Ankh-Morpork is the first major setting to appear in the Discworld series, starring (as it were) in Part 1 of ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' and reappearing in virtually every Discworld book in a cameo role if not as a major setting. Known to [[Death]] as a city that never sleeps, Ankh-Morpork prides itself on being a city where you can buy anything you can think of; indeed, if they don't have it, with a modicum of notice they will gladly steal it in order to sell it to you. It has been said that Ankh-Morpork's primary exports are smog and modern power politics. Indeed, a foreign ruler once likened Ankh-Morpork to a vampire; taking everything and turning other states into lesser copies of itself.<br />
<br />
==The People==<br />
<br />
Ordinary Ankh-Morpork citizens are inordinately fond of street theatre, and have a very liberal definition of such. They will gather and watch anything occurring in the streets, while something that is actually interesting can bring the city to a complete halt. Some popular one-act productions include the [[Fools' Guild|Guild of Fools]] on [[Firefighters' Guild|fire]], somebody threatening to jump off the top of a building (even though everybody knows they're doing it just to get tobacco money), overturned beer carts, public hangings and so on. Where crowds gather, Mr. [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] ("cutting-me-own-throat" as in he's selling things so cheaply it's suicidal) is guaranteed to be present, selling sausages-in-a-bun and other unhygienic, possibly un-food, fast food. If there is a crowd and Dibbler is there and not selling anything, then there is something seriously wrong (''really'' seriously wrong).<br />
<br />
Ankh-Morpork citizens are very touchy about the reputations of things such as, the state of the [[Ankh (river)|River Ankh]], the democracy, or the caterpillars in their imported cabbages. Ankh-Morpork also houses many noble families. Historically, Ankh-Morpork has warred against other city-states on the [[Sto Plains]] and against [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]] across the [[Circle Sea]]. Ankh-Morpork nobles typically look down upon [[Lancre|The Kingdom of Lancre]] and go on tours to sneer at [[Überwald]]. Many countries owe Ankh-Morpork a lot of money. When things are peaceful, Ankh-Morpork is the boss; when somebody turns directly against Ankh-Morpork however, Ankh-Morpork finds very few allies (though it does find bill-collectors rather more useful than allies in any event).<br />
<br />
Nobles of other countries often send their children to attend the [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins']] school (assuming they look good in black clothing; otherwise The [[Fools' Guild]] - which has swallowed up and now incorporates the formerly independent guilds of Quirm and [[Überwald]] - and [[Seamstresses' Guild]] are always welcoming new members). In short, although just about everybody who lives in Ankh-Morpork has some complaints about living there, for the most part they continue. To live. There. And more people are coming every year.<br />
<br />
Many citizens are members of the various [[Guilds]] however some others have joined various street gangs such as the [[Breccia]], The Shamlegger Rude Boys and the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads.<br />
<br />
==Government==<br />
<br />
The city is formally ruled by the [[Patrician]], the absolute tyrant elected by a one man, one vote system of democracy (he is the man and he has the vote), although the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]] and temples make many of the everyday decisions. Affairs of state and the small volume of local government are carried out from the [[Patrician's Palace]] by a select staff of [[Clerks]] under the close supervision of Patrician [[Havelock Vetinari]]. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. <br />
<br />
There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
The business of Ankh-Morpork is business. As a city-state, it has no natural resources. Even its river is too thick to navigate effectively and too soft to walk (though a brisk pace might do the trick). However the city owns things, makes things, buys and sells things. It imports the raw materials and the people who turn them into the tools, weapons, shoes, books and trinkets for most of the Disc from Llamedos to Genua. A steady stream of immigrants from all around the world bring skills, strength and new technologies and send home Ankh-Morpork dollars which buy Ankh-Morpork exports in turn.<br />
<br />
===Taxes===<br />
<br />
Lord Vetinari often points out that tax revenues in Ankh-Morpork are insubstantial and unreliable at best. This is normal for politicians (incumbents, that is) who are always constrained by their budgets in good times and bad. However, it does appear that few in Ankh-Morpork actually pay taxes, so how does the Palace support the Watch, the Clerks or indeed its own tax-collectors?<br />
<br />
To fully understand the state of the Ankh-Morpork city finances, the following must be considered, based on information gleaned from various sources:<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{RM}}'''<br />
<br />
*In ''Reaper Man'', through wrangling between the [[Unseen University]] and the city government, it is established that taxes are charged based on a simple fee of AM$200 per head, payable in quarterly instalments. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{MAA}} and {{FOC}}'''<br />
<br />
*Near the end of ''Men at Arms'', we found Captain Carrot interviewing a group of [[dwarfs|dwarf]] bakers who have failed to pay their taxes. <br />
*We also learn in ''Feet of Clay'' that Mr. [[Setha Ironcrust]], who at the time owned a single bakery, has avoided his taxes.<br />
*Neither does Mr. Maxilotte, owner of a butchery in the [[Shambles]], pay his taxes. <br />
<br />
Of course in these cases, they could simply have forgotten to - what with them being honest merchants who work hard all year round, it's easy to overlook financial affairs. If so, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], who has read the roll of taxpayers and knows who pays their taxes and who doesn't, will be happy to oblige by bringing around the proper documentation and visiting ''every'' single week after work to see if the papers have been filled out...<br />
<br />
<br />
'''{{J}}'''<br />
<br />
*During an important meeting on the issue of the island of [[Leshp]] in the Patrician's Palace, [[Samuel Vimes]], Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, is the only one in a room full of important (and extremely wealthy) Guild leaders and nobles to declare to have paid his taxes in full.<br />
*In the same scene, the [[Assassins' Guild]] is shown to have a collective income of about AM$13,207,408 the year before. Despite this, they have paid less than 0.0004% of it in taxes through an arrangement with the [[Guild of Accountants]]. <br />
*Speaking of which, the Guild of Accountants earned AM$7,999,011 the year before, but paid nothing in taxes. In fact, they have applied for a rebate of AM$200,000 instead, which means insofar taxation is concerned, they have a ''net gain''.<br />
'''{{MM}}'''<br />
<br />
*We finally return to the issue of taxation in ''Making Money'', where [[Topsy Lavish]], former Manager of the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] gives the statistic that the majority of Ankh-Morpork citizens live on AM$150 or less. <br />
*Based on the tax rate of AM$200 as established in {{RM}}, this means that the average citizen is required to pay a tax that totals up to far more than they can actually conceivably and legally earn in the same period. <br />
*At the end of {{MM}}, we learn about the current post-holder, [[Creaser]], whose methods of collection were mainly physical (namely "shaking someone by the ankles over a bucket and taking whatever came out"). <br />
<br />
<br />
So it is clear that the current system of taxation is completely bunk. Either because of the inability to pay the taxes or typical Ankh-Morpork sensibilities (if you ignore it, it will go away) ordinary citizens fail to pay their taxes. And through that same negligence, as well as manipulation by the Guild of Accountants, the wealthiest manage to pay a negligible amount or even avoid paying entirely. <br />
<br />
However there are other revenues available to government besides income, sales and property taxes. Duties and excise, user fees and tolls, and license fees can be levied. These tend to be more politically acceptable, as they are often charged to someone else. Duties, tolls and docking fees applied to foreigners are especially popular, since they're not immediately associated with increased prices for imported goods. As the largest city and trading port on the Disc, Ankh-Morpork has considerable capacity for this sort of "hidden" taxation.<br />
<br />
Another revenue stream would be fines and the appropriation of the proceeds of criminal operations. Even unconvicted criminals are unlikely to flee the Patrician's rather rough justice, leaving behind some unaccounted valuables. [[William de Worde]] managed to scoop a rather large bag of rubies, but much of this will fall into the hands of the City Watch, and so the City. In addition, the City may also lay claim to discovery of certain resources that may prove useful, such as a large chest of gold unearthed by [[Moist von Lipwig]], an army of [[golems]], or an array of [[Technomantic Devices|Devices]]. <br />
<br />
In addition, as Vetinari himself belongs to an extremely powerful and wealthy noble family, he may actually support the city treasury out of his own pocket, and so very much unlike his predecessors who saw Patricianship as a cash cow for their drinking buddies and themselves. The latter point is more or less borne out by the excessive rate of taxation imposed on the average citizen, and the crude methods of [[Creaser]], the current [[Taxmaster]] who has been part of the several preceding (incompetent and corrupt) regimes.<br />
<br />
Apparently such devices have sustained the system so far, and allowed it to tolerate the inept management of the revenue office, but for grand schemes [[Undertaking|underground]] a lot of money must be [[Book:Raising Taxes|raised]]. And so new blood is needed. Perhaps it will be [[Moist von Lipwig]], the same man who revived the [[Post Office]], and reformed the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Royal Bank]] and [[Ankh-Morpork Mint|Mint]] of Ankh-Morpork? Regardless, the next Taxmaster will have his hands full dealing with the Ankh-Morpork citizenry, who are renowned for their stinginess in matters regarding the flow of money out of their own pockets. It is likely though, that whoever it will be, he would have the whole-hearted support of Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], as well as the remainder of the City Watch in any matters regarding tax collection.<br />
<br />
==Notable places==<br />
<br />
*The [[Tower of Art]]<br />
*[[The Mended Drum]]<br />
*The [[Patrician's Palace]]<br />
*[[Pseudopolis Yard]]<br />
*The [[Temple of Small Gods]]<br />
*The [[Unseen University]]<br />
*[[The Shades]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld geography]]<br />
[[Category:Locations]]<br />
[[de:Ankh-Morpork]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Talk:Keli&diff=10235Talk:Keli2009-08-10T08:03:53Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>Since Keli was supposed to be killed in the assassination attempt her hourglass should have been empty when Mort accidentally (or not so accidentally) saved her. So besides not being seen by anyone who did not expect her to be alive, shouldn't she have had the additional problem of living without sand in her hourglass? Or did Mort turn it over (intentionally or unintentionally)? Does this mean she can only live 15 years after the events of Mort? Or that her life is seriously in danger every 15 years until Death (or someone filling his role) turns the hourglass over again?<br />
<br />
I think that Death's conversation with the gods and the act of being crowned as queen have more or less changed her fate.</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery_Pulsifer&diff=6889Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer2009-08-10T08:00:21Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>A Witchfinder Major, and ancestor of [[Newton Pulsifer]]. He was responsible for the burning of [[Agnes Nutter]] at the stake, and subsequently, his own demise as well. The only remnant of him that later search parties were able to find was his hat.<br />
<br />
In a twist of cosmic irony, Newton Pulsifer, as his first assignment as part of the Witchfinder Army, was sent off to find [[Anathema Device]], a modern day witch and descendant of Agnes Nutter. The ancestral Pulsifer would have very much liked to see his revenge repaid on one of Agnes Nutter's descendants. However, what actually happened during the meeting would have left him turning in his grave, if he had one.<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Good Omens characters]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Mr_Cripslock&diff=4497Mr Cripslock2009-07-29T20:36:18Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>Mr Cripslock is grandfather of [[Sacharissa Cripslock]] and was originally paid to engrave the boxwood so the words could be printed on a few sheets of paper for [[William de Worde]]. He is member of the [[Engravers' Guild]] and has a workshop in the [[Street of Cunning Artificers]]. His first appearance actually predates {{TT}}, in {{M!!!}}.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Discworld characters|Cripslock,Mr]]<br />
[[de:Kratzgut]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Pump&diff=5351Pump2009-07-17T15:07:55Z<p>99.238.41.80: </p>
<hr />
<div>Mr. Pump is a character who appears in the book [[Book:Going Postal|''Going Postal'']]. He is a [[golem]] who is assigned to [[Moist von Lipwig]] as an assistant/parole officer to prevent his escape from the postal service. He proves ideal for this task, as golems never stop until their task is completed - no matter where Moist might run, Mr. Pump will chase him 24 hours a day for the remainder of Moist's life until he is caught - even walking across the ocean floor to get to him. Moist, who is not stupid, soon realizes this and gives up on his ideas of escape (at least, until he could find out how to shatter a golem with a sledgehammer.)<br />
<br />
Like all "younger" Golems (under 3000 or so), he has no actual name; he is designated by his function. Mr Pump previously worked in a hole in the dark for two hundred and forty years pumping water because his creators had never told him when to stop. His description then was "Pump 19". He was eventually discovered by other golems, and brought back to surface. He is also a member of the [[Golem Trust]] and is currently working to buy his freedom through inhibiting the freedom of others as a parole officer. <br />
<br />
To this end, he is still powered by inserting instructions into his skull. He can apparently track anyone's whereabouts through "Karmic Signature": Moist has several years' worth of fairly smelly Karma '''and''' has signed a contract proffered by [[Vetinari]] '''under his own name'''. <br />
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At the end of [[Book:Going Postal|''Going Postal'']], Mr. Pump is reassigned to apprehend a [[Reacher Gilt|Randolph Stippler]], whom Vetinari also wanted to impress into government service. For all intents and purposes Moist is now as free as could be possible. [[Albert Spangler]] would have taken this opportunity to escape and carry on his old life of trickery and deceit, but Moist von Lipwig has different motivations.<br />
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==Annotation==<br />
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Just a hint of Arnie here, as the unstoppable {{wp|Terminator_%28character%29|Terminator}}...<br />
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[[Category:Discworld characters|Pump]]<br />
[[de:Pumpe 19]]</div>99.238.41.80http://disc.osiris-web.com/index.php?title=Lord_Hong&diff=3998Lord Hong2009-06-23T12:13:29Z<p>99.238.41.80: /* Annotation */</p>
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<div>{{Character Data<br />
|title= Lord Hong<br />
|photo= <br />
|name= Lord Hong<br />
|age= <br />
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]<br />
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|occupation= Head of the Hong family<br />
|appearance= <br />
<br />
|residence= <br />
<br />
|death= stepped too close to the muzzle of a [[Barking Dog]] that appeared out of nowhere<br />
|parents= <br />
|relatives= the whole three thousand years' worth of venerable ancestors and past Hongs<br />
|children= none<br />
|marital status= single<br />
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|books= {{IT}}<br />
|cameos=<br />
}}<br />
[[Lord Hong]] is the extremely intelligent and ambitious head of the old [[Hongs|Hong]] family in the [[Agatean Empire]] who has been plotting to become the next Emperor. He is known for doing everything perfectly, including kite flying, origami, and sword making. He is also merciless, and seems to be one of the few people in the Empire who is capable of thinking and acting outside the rules of conduct and decorum that have operated in the Empire since the time of [[One Sun Mirror]].<br />
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Lord Hong is deeply fascinated with making his society more like [[Ankh-Morpork]]. This fascination extends to his deepest, darkest, secret, the key to which remains on his person at all times. In conditions of deepest secrecy and one item at a time, he has assembled a wardrobe of what he fondly considers to be the clothing of a perfect Ankh-Morpork gentleman, which he surreptitiously dons at times of great stress when he needs reassurance. This outfit includes pointy footwear, doublet and hose - by inference ([[Samuel Vimes|Vimes]]'ceremonial dress is broadly similar, and ceremonial dress generally leans to the archaic and fossilized) this is up to two hundred years behind current male fashion. The thought that the response to his walking down the street dressed like that is likely to lead to derision and hurled bricks has never ''once'' occured to him. <br />
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Lord Hong is chosen by [[Fate]] to be the next Emperor of the Agatean Empire. This should guarantee his ascent to the throne. However, when facing an [[Silver Horde|enemy]] that has [[Million-to-one chance|one chance in a million]] of defeating him, his allies and their armies, he invokes [[The Lady]] by name with more or less typical results.<br />
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He is a key player in the book {{IT}}.<br />
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==Annotation==<br />
Again [[wikipedia:James_Clavell|James Clavell]] and his novels appear be the inspiration: the inscrutably devious and Machiavellian Lord Toranaga in ''Shogun'', a Japanese warlord who tells everyone he doesn't want to be ruler of all Japan, whilst devoting everything he's got to this end and systematically outwitting and out-thinking all the competition. Toranaga also thinks outside the box: where most other Japanese are frightened and appalled by the new visitors from faraway Europe, a bunch of soap-shy barbarians from places like Portugal and England, and the majority opinion is to kill the lot of 'em and seal Nippon's sacred borders, he wants to learn all he can from them, eg in the trifling and despicably dishonourable arts of firearms and artillery. It is not lost on Toranaga that most of his peers are too proud to embrace a weapon that will kill samurai from a distance by the bucketload. Nor is it lost on him that the seemingly impregnable Osaka Castle, stronghold of his mortal enemy, was built by an architect who was innocent of what Western artillery could do to a Japanese castle wall. Or that Western ships are years in advance of anything Japan can offer and could slaughter his enemies' trade routes to China. <br />
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Casting [[Rincewind]] in the role of stranded Englishman John Blackthorne is something of an act of genius by TP... in the novel, Blackthorne is abruptly stranded in a country of which he knows nothing, is at first imprisoned, becomes a pawn of a powerful leader angling for the Shogunate, has to learn Japanese morality and language very quickly indeed, and rises to a position of influence with the man who eventually becomes undisputed leader. Oh, and has a romance with a beautiful and steel-like lady who steers him in the right directions. <br />
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Hong's secret fetish for Western dress echoes the Westernisation of Japan in the late 19th century, when the country came out of its self-imposed isolation and wanted to do everything all at once, such as modernise its army and navy (''tick''), win a war against a major European power (''tick''), and assimilate Western styles of dress and clothing, however strange this might have looked to Western eyes. (''tick'')<br />
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Is the [[Mr Hong]] who was behind that unfortunate business on [[Dagon Street]] a relative? This might explain why some Agatean refugees are actually allowed to get all the way to Ankh-Morpork: in return for unimpeded passage, they act as Agatean agents who feed back information and desired goods, ie Lord Hong's cache of secret clothes. And being family, they are motivated by a higher loyalty than would apply to lesser concepts like Empire or Emperor... No doubt Vetinari is aware and has a full list of names, addresses, and who they pass information back to, (as well as ensuring they get access to the ''right'' sort of information, ie that which Vetinari carefully ensures they pass on home...)<br />
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*Of course, "Hong" may well be as common on the Continent as "Stronginthearm" throughout the rest of [[Discworld]].<br />
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For a great lord, standing only a heartbeat away from being Emperor, to be an aclaimed amateur swordsmith is not unique. Japanese history preserves the memory of the thirteenth century Emperor Go-Toba who, when deposed from office and exiled by a conniving daimyo of the Hong type, spent his suddenly free time in learning and perfecting the swordsmith's art, dreaming of the day when one his swords might get close enough to the usurper to do what it was designed for. The "retired Emperor"'s swords were good enough to be genuinely acclaimed as works of art, although history is silent as to whether one of them was used to kill the "Hong" (Regent Hojo Yoshitoki) who had deposed him. Go-Toba is not, however, thought to have discovered that annealing a freshly-forged sword in human blood gives it that little bit of an extra "edge": Japanese swordmakers had been doing this for quite some time beforehand, and had discovered that animal blood did as well, practically speaking. However, possibly in keeping with the universal belief that a [[Vampires|new blade]] must be allowed to feed on blood(and preferably somebody else's blood, lest that hunger be turned on the owner), condemned criminals were frequently executed with fresh new samurai swords to properly "baptise" them. Usually the public executioner did this job: but it wasn't unknown for the samurai who was to receive the swords to do the job himself, so as to get used to their weight and feel and to forge a bond with his weapons.<br />
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[[Category:Discworld characters|Hong, Lord]]<br />
[[Category:Human characters|Hong, Lord]]<br />
[[de:Hong (Mensch)]]</div>99.238.41.80